the answer would be, aku dah takde perasaan.
love? i dont know.
missing? maybe yes,there are some.
tapi entahlah. aku makin lama makin tawar hati dengan hubungan kita ni. aku berdoa agar tuhan tetapkan hati aku dan curahkan sedikit perasaan sayang tu ke dalam hati ni tapi tulah. aku makin tak kisah ko nak kontek aku ke tak. ko nak layan aku ke tak. okay,tipu. aku masihkan check gak tepon 30min/per hour kot-kot ko nak kontek ke. tapi haramnya. idak mandang. haha,so end up aku putus harapan.
infact,aku dah move on dari waktunya. kalau apa-apa berlaku pun aku redha aje. cry? hahahaha i cried a lot since stay at home a month ago! walaupun kita done a lot of things together,aku makin tak kisah. serious tak kisah. dan aku makin hilang diri aku yang sebenarnya. you know,i am clingy type girl. but it used to be. now? i can stand on my feet.
mungkin jugak jarak ni buat kita jadi gini.
mungkin jugak apa yang aku buat ke kita at our last meet (24.4.2015).
mungkin jugak aku terasa dengan ko.
- you called me drama much
-you tired of me with my probs and all
-yada yada
hahahahah how hurt it is. aku ingatkan bila ada pasangan aku boleh aje nak throw all my shit, listen to my rant and but hell yeah! ko boleh suruh aku pi ckp ke kawan. hahahah menangis tak berlagu gak aku time tu. i still remembered what've you said. ko pun ada masalah gak,ko tak mampu nak dgr masalah aku 24/7. kalo setakat kecil pi share dgn kawan. hahahahaha,i could cry ifi remember that again.
whats the point having me by your side if you dont want to share the problems with me?
well said,abeden.
and since that,aku rasa macam no point cerita ke ko. so i keep by myself! haha,and twitter too. place where i rant out what linger on my mind.
dan perbualan kita pun dah tak variasi. keep asking the same thing again and again,day by day.
18.05.2015
that evening i couldn't keep it anymore. i ask you wanna stay or go. u're in dilemma. half of you wanna stay but half of you wanna go. thats invalid baby. i dont know your true feeling. i give you a time to think but you keep saying that you still love me. it's hurt me more! u said you can go with ldr but less than a month you said taht you cant. what the hell,man?!
haish,malas nak citer banyak-banyak.
yang pasti aku dah bosan. kita tak kontek sehari pun i dont feel anything. and yet,you dont show any effort(?) to contact.
can we both stay together until our 2nd anniversary?
when the parents get involved (which mean,both of parents,families know our partner),thats the real deal you need to configure.
till then,
xoxo
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