Sunday 15 November 2015

He change everything whats related me to him.

It seems like he slowly move on,huh?

Aku aje yg masih mengharapkan sesuatu yang belum pasti. Bodohnya.

Monday 12 October 2015

ayubXakma wedding

Assalamualaikum!

weeeeeee. it's been 3 weeks after the wedding and i just want to write about it. hiks. nevermine,i just want to share the story.

majlis nikah dan kendurinya berlangsung pada hari ahad 20hb.9.2015 tapi aku pegi malam 19hb tu. gigih ko tau tak aku nak dapatkan tiket ke kuantan masa tu?! dengan banyak tiket habislah. dengan sampai sampai lambat lah. dengan penjualnya macam apeee aje. bas silaplah. macam-macam lagilah. iyelah,musim nak raya haji kut,memang habislah citer dia kan. gigih nau aku ni. sebab dah confirm dengan ammar. padahal boleh je kalau tak datang,aku bukan sesiapa pun. the event still held even i if im not there :p . then, sampainya pagi 19hb tu dalam pukul 8am. ammar ambil,tinggalkan aku dekat rumah dan dia terus pergi ke tempat penyembelihan lembu dekat batu 6 kalau tak silap aku. dia tinggalkan aku amongst his family T_T . mentang aku mudah blend in,sedih. agak kekok jugak sebenarnya nak jumpa dia 1st time after what had happen to us. tak tau nak act macam mana. hahha

sampai je dekat rumah dia, i was like ,'ohmaigod!' . paklong,maklong entah sape lagi makcik pakcik dia pun aku lupa *hahahah*  semua pandang macam pelik. hahahah, pehtu dia tinggalkan aku aje. CIS! long time haven't meet makcik,sampai je rumah terus cium peluk. hahaha menantu pilihan,huh? habis sesi mengubati perasaan rindu masuk rumah,makan dan terus tolong the bride-to-be. buat hantaran! hoyeah,i loike. main bunga. an hour later semua sedara mara, termasuk tok dia sampai and TADAA! muahahahahhaaha bermulalah sesi kenal mengenali 'kawan adik ammar'. oyeah,he's the youngest in the family ;) . MALU!

Malamnya tu adalah majlis berinai ngan tahlil sikit. kutlah, aku pun tak pasti. hahaha,bukan rumah aku. dah habis majlis semua tu dalam pukul 11 kut aku ngan ammar jadi tukang cuci pinggan mangkuk. how sweet it is the 'love bird'? lol . aku dengan tak cukup rehatnya gagah betul bekerja dekat rumah bakal mak mertua yang entah jadi ke tak. dalam hampir ke pukul 3 aku masuk bilik dah nak tido. tak lalu wei! lagipun aku malulah nak masuk bilik mak ayah tido. kut rumah sendiri bolehlah. tu aku tunggu kak ina masuk dulu then baru aku ikut. huhuu. kak nis ngan alya tido dah,letihkan. dan!!!! pagi tu aku sedar yang makcik tido sebelah. huhuuuuu aku harap aku tak berdengkur time tu *tutup muka*

HARI MAJLIS

it's 20th September. bangun tu terus kemas rumah *dah macam rumah aku aje*. since the solemnization will be at 10, kul 9 aku mandi dah. then mekap apa semua bagai then siap! and it's my first time see my baby boo in samping and that is his first time wear it!!! infront of me. i is crying. aku yang tolong pakaikan. seriyes,dah macam laki aku dia tu. hahah, tak sia-sia aku tengok abah ngan abang selalu pakai samping. boleh tolong dia. *nangis lagi*

                                          

iloveyou.
 in our 1st photo in same colour of baju! haha and i know it's #tooobvious

ps; abaikan pemandangan belakang tu. 

masa nak nikah tu sepatutnya aku duk kat tepi-tepi aje nak tengok entah macam mana makcik boleh suruh aku duk kat tepi kak ma jap untuk kasi tisu je pun . dan kak ma pun boleh suruh aku temankan dia. what?! bridesmaid bidan terjun kah? HAHAHA  dan tibalah masa yang dinanti-nanti,nikah time! okay this time aku dah blah. ammar suh. hewhewhew. lepas tu aku blah dah. buat kerja sendiri, lepak dengan makcik-makcik dia.

so,here is the photos!

the solemnization of akma and ayob's.



Obviously this is mother to the bride and mother to man that i love most. *aku harap ko tak baca blog ni,mar*


percaya dop yang aku jadi pembantu mak ayah kasi goodies bag to guest and ada orang ingat aku anak dorang. whoaaaaa aku pun iyekan aje. haha,kak in pun iyekan aje. malu lah. dan tahap dorang anggap aku macam family sampai suh aku pegang henbag? aku speechless.




the flower in the family. except the shortest girl in the middle. she just an outsider. doakan supaya im going to be one of the family tau. muah!

outdoor! 


 

time ni baru sampai dekat taman bandar. 


and this is the best photo! aku suka!!!! kena pulak aku ngan ammar ni. hikhik. 

nak aku belanja satu gambar? nah!


pre wed shoot? kahkahkahkah

tu je kot. gambar kak ma nya takde,gambar aku pulak yang melebih. hiks.



ps; courtesy photos from the official photographer yra syahirah. google her artwork and you'll amazed with her masterpiece. sangat cantik dan berbaloi.

till then,we'll meet again.







Tuesday 8 September 2015

14 songs in one love story


This love is like a wonderland to me. Our story has its bad blood and new romantic too. Do you still remember how you get the girl? i wish you would. I know places we can hide and the world is ours. But then i wondered, 'Where do we stand? what are we?'. the answer maybe it's out of the wood. 


You know you are in love when most of your style influenced by the loved ones.Though we are clean, your name still written in the blank space. Nothing last forever, my request is let me be in your wildest dream.



Now, all you had to do was stay...

Tuesday 28 July 2015

a letter for you

'Every story has its ending, and this is our ending'

we've come along from the day we met at BK3, Jabatan Perdagangan. we get know each other since that and today is the ending. it's ain't our fault. no one's right and no one is wrong. it's both. maybe we are too young for these. anggaplah ini sebagai pemangkin semangat untuk menjadi lebih matang dan berjaya dikemudian hari.

i know you still love me. deep down. and i love you too with all my heart, it just half of me cant accept with what had happen between us. and i am pretty sure you are stay loyal when we were together, you have not looking other girl even tough we staying apart one another.

'feeling of unworthiness comes from giving your heart and receive little of nothing in return.'
Harriet Turk

let me be frank, this is what i felt at least. in the silence i found the answer. too many chances i gave and i got but seems like this one is the end. aku cuba bertahan dengan this long distance relationship and aku berharap kau pun bersama aku. dan akhirnya aku rebah setelah sebulan dua minggu dari kali terakhir kita bertemu.

'no distance is too much for true love'



whole night i kept thinking about what should i do with us, this morning i had made my mind. im sorry make you like this. left you in misery.

you had to know something that knowing you is the best thing ever happen in my life. the joy, the happiness, the sweetness, the angryness and all. i appreciate all that. nothing can change that and the memories are so overwhelming. 

biarlah kita bawa haluan masing-masing. ada rezeki kita ketemu lagi. dan aku harap ketika itu kita sudah matang untuk membuat penilaian. ada jodoh kita bersama, andai tiada sampai sini sahaja hubungan kita. semoga kau ketemu yang lebih baik dari aku dan tidak banyak peel macam aku.

aku doakan kau berjaya didunia dan diakhir kelak. bertemu jodoh dari kalangan yang baik-baik. im happy for you in everything you do. you have my support.

move on ainaa.
move on ammar.

our love story has ended.

Tuesday 2 June 2015

kalau ditanya apa perasaan aku sekarang ni mengenai hubungan kita,

the answer would be, aku dah takde perasaan.

love? i dont know.

missing? maybe yes,there are some.

tapi entahlah. aku makin lama makin tawar hati dengan hubungan kita ni. aku berdoa agar tuhan tetapkan hati aku dan curahkan sedikit perasaan sayang tu ke dalam hati ni tapi tulah. aku makin tak kisah ko nak kontek aku ke tak. ko nak layan aku ke tak. okay,tipu. aku masihkan check gak tepon 30min/per hour kot-kot ko nak kontek ke. tapi haramnya. idak mandang. haha,so end up aku putus harapan.

infact,aku dah move on dari waktunya. kalau apa-apa berlaku pun aku redha aje. cry? hahahaha i cried a lot since stay at home a month ago! walaupun kita done a lot of things together,aku makin tak kisah. serious tak kisah. dan aku makin hilang diri aku yang sebenarnya. you know,i am clingy type girl. but it used to be. now? i can stand on my feet.

mungkin jugak jarak ni buat kita jadi gini.

mungkin jugak apa yang aku buat ke kita at our last meet (24.4.2015).

mungkin jugak aku terasa dengan ko.
- you called me drama much
-you tired of me with my probs and all
-yada yada

hahahahah how hurt it is. aku ingatkan bila ada pasangan aku boleh aje nak throw all my shit, listen to my rant and but hell yeah! ko boleh suruh aku pi ckp ke kawan. hahahah menangis tak berlagu gak aku time tu. i still remembered what've you said. ko pun ada masalah gak,ko tak mampu nak dgr masalah aku 24/7. kalo setakat kecil pi share dgn kawan. hahahahaha,i could cry ifi remember that again.

whats the point having me by your side if you dont want to share the problems with me?


well said,abeden. 

and since that,aku rasa macam no point cerita ke ko. so i keep by myself! haha,and twitter too. place where i rant out what linger on my mind. 

dan perbualan kita pun dah tak variasi. keep asking the same thing again and again,day by day.

18.05.2015

that evening i couldn't keep it anymore. i ask you wanna stay or go. u're in dilemma. half of you wanna stay but half of you wanna go. thats invalid baby. i dont know your true feeling. i give you a time to think but you keep saying that you still love me. it's hurt me more! u said you can go with ldr but less than a month you said taht you cant. what the hell,man?!

haish,malas nak citer banyak-banyak.

yang pasti aku dah bosan. kita tak kontek sehari pun i dont feel anything. and yet,you dont show any effort(?) to contact.

can we both stay together until our 2nd anniversary?

when the parents get involved (which mean,both of parents,families know our partner),thats the real deal you need to configure.

till then,
xoxo